Appearance of perfection

I’m still not sure the ground is there, other than in soul and spirit singing out loud. Country tunes have guided me across familiar roads, as my phone revives from exhaustion from the constant calls. My tyres are tired from running, weary eyes peer outside the bags amassing under my eyes. But this week, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We spent the weekend painting and repairing our new home. While we don’t plan on living there, it’s the view that excites me. It’s knowing that this block will stay in my family’s hands forever, that in the future they will be able to look over ceremony ground and connect. It’s there, again. Forever once more.

That’s why I work. That’s what’s makes the long hours worth it, the 3am starts and time away from home. To build the base for future generations to start from. Future focused, this is the lens I believe my family has always taken.

I spent time in Sydney taking meetings and looking for opportunities, sharing my story and hopes for the future at conferences and listening for future wisdom. Often, it’s easy to focus on the appearance of perfection, but scratch around a little and you find the reality. So with that I’ve been digging. Digging for answers and possibility, purpose and passions.

Somehow the lure of the city calls, competing with home and Nan’s description of Amerton. I still feel torn, torn between my passion for farming, continuing legacy and culture, and work. Torn between my realities and understanding, and the vision I need to carry on.

So I’m back in the city today, back home tonight for the Nabiac show. Then the city calls again next week, with hopefully plenty of time back at home.

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